Dilemna

OMG! This morning I woke up at 5 & was so nervous about being late that I didn't even go in. I was shaky to the point where I just had to take a breath and try to get myself together. It's funny because when I finally got it together, I took off my skirt and blouse, slipped into something more comfy, went to Dunkin Donuts and ordered a medium coffee with a shot of blueberry and cream - no sugar. Do I feel bad? Not really because they were probably gonna fire me anyway.

Without trying to make excuses - I think when you're looking for a job, try to find one before your current one expires! That way you won't settle for whatever you’re offered. Now, those of you who didn't know this - I found the job on craigslist. The ad description was for a 'Booking Agent', booking models and actors for jobs. I thought it would be great for me because I recently developed an interest in Public Relations. The website assured me that the company was very prestigious and the office was top notch. I later found out that I would not be dealing with actors and models but regular people with no experience in acting or modeling at all.

Upon arrival to the office (which is in the same building I worked as a contractor before), I noticed that there were no signs of the company's name anywhere. In fact, the actual office is located on the first floor, in the rear where all deliveries are made. Not to mention trash and other deposits for outdoors. When I entered (the wrong door), I had a funny feeling about the whole thing because again, it wasn't a pleasant site. Once I was instructed to where I had to be, I was interviewed by a very insecure woman. It appeared that she was a fast talker who devoted her life to controlling people so she could feel powerful - on and off the phone.

Amazingly, I was hired! I honestly did nothing. I said nothing outstanding to even convince her to offer me the position. I was so unsure about what was going on that I didn't give my best interview performance. But, I was hired and that also sent up a red flag. I reported to work as scheduled and met with the team leader who was to train three of us how to control a conversation, manipulate callers, speak with excitement & aggression at the same time and land the 'kill' or 'sell' (whichever you prefer). Yes folks, I was a Telemarketer! Are you serious?! I hang up on 'those people' all the time. Now here I was, my own enemy. I couldn't believe I had been out conned by the greatest con artists in the world - TELEMARKETERS!

Ok, granted I stayed for two days of being totally not-in-control! Bartending for me has been very slow and gas is 4.09 a gallon. Of course, I needed a gig. Ok, maybe I can do this until another employer calls me concerning one of the 10 billion resumes I have floating around the DMV, I thought. At the office, calls were ridiculous, 'You guys are a scam!' 'I paid for classes and no one ever called me back!' Oh, and my favorite were the kids. It's summer time so everyone under 18 is home watching tv in the mornings waiting for something to do until they see a commercial about how they too can be the next 'Hannah Montana'. Most of the calls were from those kids and it was murderous! It was suicide to get information from a kid about an audition. And if you couldn't tell if it were a kid or not, you had to book it. Sounds retarded right? Of course it does. How many 16-19 year olds do you know with a kid? I know a hand full and they could have very well been interested in their preemie being the next gerber baby.

“Ok, hang up! Hang up! It's a kid!” Oh, no that wasn't me. That was the boss running from her office to my cube telling me to disconnect the call.

“What!” Yep, that was me.

She had been listening in on the call. I had no privacy to do my job and feel comfortable about it. I felt like the hawk was on my back even though she wasn't standing right there. We had to read these scripts and if a caller had a question we were to ignore the questions and continue with the script using their 'excitement with aggression' method or 'being their parent' or 'being demanding and nice at the same time'. We even got callers from DC, whom I felt bad for. Their poor kids, thinking they were going to be on the next Disney show. It was all a lie. Everything comes with a price and our job was to convince the parent that there were none. I felt like a hypocrite. Like I was hiding behind the waves and channels of the phone lines from being exposed. Or like a false prophet, selling people what they wanted to hear and not reality. “Oh, don't worry about it, a lot of kids we see have never done this before.” That was the beginning of the script. Now, I haven't seen any of the kids they're implying but the object is to make the parent feel like being a beginner is ok. Getting them more comfortable to continue on with the conversation and eventually charge them thousands of dollars to attend the school to become an expert so their kids will think that they will be on Nickelodeon shows.

Well, what's wrong with going to an acting school to become an actor? I suppose nothing is wrong with it, if you're really going.

Ok, it's now 7:50 and no one has called to see if I were coming in, had a car wreck, etc. Why? Because it was expected. No one has lasted long on the job. Once they understand what's really being done, they walk. Just like one of the team leaders who actually got fired on my first day for ACCIDENTALLY leaving a caller on hold for 5 minutes. He had hit the button to send her to the Automated-Directions System after getting her information and obviously it didn't go through. There was a huge argument and then he was out the door. The crazy part, he was just introduced to us as the longest person worked in the office and a highly performed team leader. Not to mention, the whole thing was done in front of me.

Wow! That leads me to why I'm writing this email in the first place. Well I'm home and not at work, duh. This morning I would have been at least 10 minutes late with the pressure of being 'fired on the spot' as quoted by the boss for being late. My alarm went off at 4:15, however I didn't get up until 5. I'm Ms. Chas so I needed at least 30 - 45 minutes to get ready. As I mentioned earlier, gas is 4.09 a gallon and I'm driving a truck. You do the math. No really, do the math. Ok, together shall we... Gas is 4.09 a gallon and I need at least 3 gallons to comfortably get to Rockville and back home today. Had I been fired, that would have been a waste of 12 dollars and 27 cents of the half tank I'm working with already.

I'm sorry but it just wasted worth it. The bigger picture? There is none, it was bound to happen sooner than later anyway. So, now you've heard my sob story of added dilemma in my life. I'll leave you to your fantastic jobs and wish you well until the end of day. Or until the boss sees you reading this long ass email and not doing your job - then, you'll be sending me a copy of this email using it as a template for your own dilemma.

Enjoy your day -

Chas B